What if Our Fears are Shadow Puppets

Lately there has been so much going on!

I’ve been trying some new things out in my work, my youngest child just started middle school, there are some health issues I’m navigating in my family, and I’ve noticed that there has been an uptick in my experience of fear. When I feel anxiety and fear, I can tell because I hold my breath more, or my breathing becomes shallow, and I tense up my core muscles way more often. I also notice my sleep is impacted – I’ll wake up at 3 in the morning and I’m wide awake.

I started reflecting on what might be behind this response in me. I’m not typically someone who experiences fearful anxiety much, so this is curiously new. As I reflected, I recognized the ways the meditative approaches and self-care practices help me. Especially noticing and responding to my breathing, taking walks, and self-massage – particularly facial self-massage – for me have been incredibly helpful to release tension.

In my curiosity and reflection, I became aware of change and how the unknown and change can spark up fear. It’s a natural fear – there’s something different happening right? – and yet the fear sparks the feedback loop that then can cause us to feel like things really aren’t ok. And that’s when the stress can grow, and the loop of anxiety and fear continues.

Today, I thought it might be helpful to explore a metaphorical perspective that might help us shift our relationship with fear: noticing our fears as shadow puppets.

Just a friendly reminder that this podcast is intended for informational purposes only and does not replace or substitute as any mental health or clinical treatment, recommendations, or diagnostics of any kind.

Fear is a natural, protective response, often trying to keep us safe from perceived dangers. But what happens when our fears become distorted—blown out of proportion—and start guiding our decisions in ways that don’t serve us? It’s as if these fears take on exaggerated shapes and forms—becoming shadow puppets, dancing on the walls of our minds.

Imagine sitting in a dimly lit room, with a small light source behind you. On the wall in front of you, shadows move—large, dark, and imposing. You might hold your breath, tense your body, fear the unknown (what are these things?!), and experience a sense of danger or threat.

If you pause and get a little curious and reflective, however, you might notice these shadows are not solid monsters—they’re merely your hands, twisting and shaping into exaggerated forms on the wall. What if we viewed our fears in the same way?

The shadow puppets of fear are often born of our past experiences, anxieties about the future, and our deepest insecurities. They might feel overwhelming and real, but when we take a moment to observe them from a place of distance, we can start to recognize them as projections—illusions created by our minds.

Ok, so now that we have established that most of our fears are very similar to shadow puppets (not actually real threats and dangers to us in the moment), how can we apply this in real life?

Well, there are some simple mindfulness practices that can help:

1. Name the Fear: When a fear arises, mentally label it. For example, if you’re afraid of failing at a new project, simply say, “This is the fear of failure.” Naming it takes away some of its power and allows you to see it for what it is—a thought, not reality. Once you name the fear, you might notice how it’s trying to protect you. In our example, it was to protect you from failure. However, the truth is that the fear is responding to the unknown of a new project. Not a real threat or danger right now. 
2. Visualize the Shadow Puppet: Picture this fear as a shadow puppet on the wall—exaggerated and dark, and yet - not solid. You might practice compassionate curiosity and ask yourself: What’s behind this shadow? What’s really there? Sometimes, the fear is rooted in a belief or story we’ve told ourselves for a long time. Just noticing this can help bring clarity. This is an old worn out story, not the truth of the present moment.
3. Get Curious, Not Judgmental: Instead of trying to push the fear away or shame yourself for having it, approach it with curiosity. What is it trying to tell you? Is it protecting you from something dangerous and very real in this very moment – a threat right now that you need to respond to, or is it a distorted projection? Often, by getting curious, we start to see that our fears are based more on “what ifs” than on actual danger. We might non-judgmentally notice this and even kindly relate to our fear – thank our fear for trying to protect us and remind our fear that we’re ok right now.
4. Breathe and Reconnect: Take a few deep breaths, grounding yourself in the present moment. Feel your feet on the floor, your breath entering and leaving your body. This helps bring you back from the imagined shadows into what’s real and tangible—right here, right now. 

When we start to see our fears as shadow puppets, we’re not dismissing them—we’re acknowledging they are there with us and simply reframing them. Perhaps we are then able to begin to recognize that fear, like a shadow, is part of us – a response we have – but doesn’t define us. It’s something we can observe with curiosity and compassion, rather than something that needs to control our actions or keep us stuck.

In our journey of self-compassion, and mindful, grounded living, it can be helpful to remember that fears will always be part of the landscape. By noticing them for what they are—big shadow puppets from a relatively tiny hand, projections, or even outdated stories—we can move through them with more ease.

Thank you for joining me today on The Calming Ground. As you go through your week, I invite you to notice when fear arises, and instead of running from it, try sitting with it for a moment. Maybe see it as a shadow puppet—something that’s there but not as solid as it seems.

Until next time, my friends.